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[29 Nov 2009|04:16pm] |
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A Martyr For My Love For You |
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I could stay a while,
But sooner or later I'll break your smile.
And I can tell a joke,
But one of these days I'm bound to choke.
And we might share a kiss,
But I feel like I can't go through with this.
And we could build a home,
But I know the right thing for me to do is leave you alone.
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[13 Oct 2009|10:06pm] |
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I.. need friends.
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[21 Sep 2009|10:26pm] |
On a side note, I think it had something to do with the lesbian comment on Amy's wall.
Hahaha.
Sooooo whaaatttt my boyfriend worries because mad people crush on me because I'm fuckin hot.
And he cared extra about the lesbian because I cared about her. at some point in that mess.
and scene.
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[21 Sep 2009|10:16pm] |
I'm choosing to be in control of my reactions.
That's what we're taught in group. That we can't change people, only ourselves. Which includes the way we react to other peoples' stupid actions.
And so I'm in control.
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[09 Sep 2009|10:04pm] |
First day of class went pretty well. I'm stokeddddd I suppose. A little nervous about old skeletons sneak sneak sneaking out of the closet, but I'll take that as it comes.
I want to spend time with people like all the time now.
AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO AGREE TO GO TO THE FORREST OF FEAR WITH ME IN OCTOBER.
It's a haunted house -plus- a carnival.
I had plans but nah. I don't do that shit with people who don't want me to be happy.
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| It's true |
[08 Sep 2009|10:34pm] |
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Something about the fall/winter makes us go absolutely nuts
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[07 Aug 2009|06:46pm] |
Can someone please please please recommend me a new place to get clothes? I hate everything I see lately.
Or. Someone come troll Brooklyn thrift stores with me plz k thanks
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| It's late and I have to work early tomorrow but I wanna do thisss. STolen from Morgan |
[25 Jul 2009|12:02am] |
These are my firsts. If I tag you it means I want to know yours. Copy and paste this note into your notes, delete my answers and fill yours in. Tag me back and anyone else whose "firsts" you want to know about...
1. Who was your FIRST prom date? Uh I guess Alanna. Because our junior prom was before John Jay's
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Uhhh yeah we text occassionally. He tries to get me to visit him in Brooklyn but frankly I'm just to lazy for all that subway work. I'm a terrible friend, shutup
3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? Hynotiq. Or however you spell it. Yuckkk
4. What was your FIRST job? Babysitting? Or if you mean a real job then I did drama at Rock Hill
5. What was your FIRST car? 95 Ford Taurus. Still have it
6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? Lol Anicia I think
7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? Justinnnn
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. Rogers. Guess what we pestered her about.
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Disney World!
10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? Michael Diamente. We exchanged like two facebook comments over a year ago
11. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Not counting Michael's, Kathleen Murphy's.
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? I think my mom?
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? I've never been -in- a wedding.
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Pet Darwin and/or sent people mad texts. I have a problem and I'm ashamed
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Margot and the Nuclear So & So's.
16. FIRST tattoo? Probs never. I've considered getting a cat but I wouldn't want to upset my dad
17. FIRST piercing besides ears? Noseeee
18. FIRST foreign country you went to? Mexico. But I don't think that's so foreign so New Zealand
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? 101 Dalmations I think. Or Beauty and the Beast
20. When was your FIRST detention? I got tooooo many demerits sophomore year. lol I was angsty
22. Who was your FIRST roommate? SHutup
23. If you had one wish. What would it be? That's a toughy. Uh. I want my mom had a job mostly. For several reasons, first being her happiness
24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance? I want to be fluent in spanish. Like. FLUENT
25. Did you marry the FIRST person who asked for your hand in marriage? lolol. No. Sorry kid.
26. What was the FIRST sport you were involved in? Basketball. Ew. I needed to make friends in my new school
27. What were the FIRST lessons you ever took? Ballet. Loves it
28. What is the FIRST thing you do when you get home? Open the fridge. Oh my god what a terrible habit. But 8 times out of 10 I just look. To see if anything's changed. Oh god.
29. Who was your FIRST kiss? Andrew
30. Who do you think will be the next person to post this? No clue, go nuts all of you!
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[10 Jul 2009|01:00am] |
My bladder issue is an autoimmune disorder?
fml
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[07 Jul 2009|08:08pm] |
My life should not be about my body.
It should be about fun and laughter and love and finding peace with most things. It should be about working through my struggles, working for my passion, making some sort of good.
Care free, but not necessarily worry free because there will always be bills that have to be paid.
My life should not get boring so quickly. And I should not dwell on my lost childhood which I could've made so much better.
My life will probably always be about my body.
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[29 Apr 2009|02:13pm] |
A year ago today I was admitted in the Somerset Medical Center EDU.
I need time to write about this. But I have none.
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| My new favorite quote: |
[12 Apr 2009|11:06pm] |
"Just because you can't take it all in with your senses doesn't mean the earth is half-baked. It's ideal, if you don't count the humans."
The Book of Ruth by Jane Hamilton p. 309
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[29 Mar 2009|09:44pm] |
Basically, Con Air is the best movie ever and here's why...
Steve Buscemi
John Cusack
Nicholas Cage
John Malkovich
all in a film together. All my favorites. Well, not all, but most. It deserves an award or something.
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[26 Mar 2009|10:19pm] |
I stayed home from my eating disorder group to eat three slices of pizza and sit on my ass.
I also dumped a ton of water in my bag and now everything is broken. Everything.
But I got cute clothes and I love Alanna and Jamba Juice.
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[22 Mar 2009|03:30pm] |
Life lesson kiddies:
Don't ever ever lie. It will get back to you; you're not cool enough to be immune, no matter who you are.
And it is never EVER worth it.
I'll write more later, probably. I have to bathe my dog and find what else I can obsessively clean.
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[19 Mar 2009|07:13pm] |
With any luck, Andrew will be miffed at me for calling his new girlfriend a skank without knowing her, and he'll leave me alone for a while. Because I need that break.
And with any luck, Anicia will come around and believe meeee when I say I want to be with her. Or stop lying and confess that she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Which I don't even fully believe is possible.
Dear Anicia,
Love yourself. Don't write me off. Let me make my own decisions about how I feel about you, and please please please like I've said give yourself more credit and see yourself for how amazing you are.
And please don't just be telling me to move on if you mean something else. I care about you too much for this, and... I don't know. I feel like a puppet with no one at the strings. Like I've been left hanging to gather dust and keep smiling in the dark even without an audience to captivate. Be my spotlight again, please.
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[09 Mar 2009|06:23pm] |
I love it when things just fall into place so nicely.
Like how I just figured out how to fold a fitted sheet.
I have the best bestie in the world.
And I am so so happy with Anicia.
Plus warmer weather.
Yay!
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[24 Feb 2009|06:29pm] |
Inanimate, tangible objects I cannot live without:
-Tampons. Self explanitory.
-My cell phone. It's kind of pathetic and typical, but fuck all other kinds of technology. I need to stay in touch with people.
-A tooth brush + toothpaste. And use them at least twice a day, every day. AND NOT DRINK COKE IMMEDIATELY AFTER ew gross I wish I was kidding but I've seen people (one person?) actually do that. Or they tried to, but I screamed.
-A shower. I can go 1 day max without. More if I'm deathly ill or when I would camp in the woods and everyone around me would stink as well.
-Tweezers and a nail clipper. Obsessiveeee. But not compulsive, don't worry.
-Some sort of lip moisturizer. Chapstick, Vaseline, Aquaphor, whatever.
Essentially that's it. Except maybe like paper and a pen. And maybe books for entertainment. Everything else I can do without. Well. And I can live without a hair straightener and product, but I need at least a hair tie.
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